It must be serious

This morning the Tory conference schedule was changed to allow David Cameron to prove his statesmanship with a sombre address on the economic chaos.
If that wasn't proof how serious things are, he's now going to deliver tomorrow's keynote speech from behind a lectern.
Not on the face of it dramatic news, except we've got used to "Dave" roaming the stage on these sort of occasions - last year he famously tore up his speech hours before going on stage and did the whole thing from memory.
But that was in the days when the credit crunch was only just entering our vocabularies. Triumphalism has already been banned from this conference - now all the stops are being pulled out to convince people the Tories are ready for the serious business of government.

Fleeing the north!

The now infamous Policy Exchange report - the one that urged people to flee the north, you may remember - is still igniting passions.
David Cameron thought it so incendiary he immediately disowned it because of the think-tank's close links with the party.
But on the conference fringe last night, the report found a defender - albeit a Fellow of Policy Exchange.
Jesse Norman, who also happens to be a Tory parliamentary candidate, said - shock, horror - it was all the media's fault for misunderstanding the report. The whole thing has got "astoundingly out of proportion", apparently.
"If it had said what was said of it, it would have been completely different," he said. "What it was was a much more subtle, thoughtful analysis" of the way public cash has been spent.
Thankfully, straight-talking Yorkshireman Eric Pickles, the Shadow Local Government Secretary, was also on the panel.
"I'm sure it was thoughtful and subtle, but sadly in my speed reading I missed those points," he said. You're not the only one, Eric.

Not at all conservative

There were a few red Tory faces before the start of proceedings here in Birmingham when delegates glancing through their book of discount vouchers for eateries and drinking spots around the city discovering they could get preferential rates at entertainment of a different kind - a lap dancing club.
And those marketing the Rocket Club are making the most of their new market.
A huge banner adorns the front of the club, on the busy city centre Broad Street, declaring: The Rocket Club welcomes Tories to Birmingham. There's nothing conservative about us".

Do the Tories really love Brum?

Coming to Birmingham was supposed to show in part that the modern Tories do love our big cities, even those in the north (or Midlands in this case). And after being deafened by complaints about grubby hotel accommodation or sub-standard eateries in Blackpool last year, you might have reasoned that visiting a major, modern and regenerated city would be a welcome change.
Not for everyone though, it seems.
Queuing to enter the "secure zone" last night - the conference centre and party hotel are cordoned off and anyone entering needs a pass and has to pass through security scanners - a Tory MP behind me had clearly just arrived.
"I'd forgotten how vile Birmingham is," the shadow minister told his companion, unaware of the flapping ears of journalists nearby. And then he repeated it again!
The Tories may be making genuine inroads outside the south, but maybe some of their MPs still need to learn to love our cities.

Sending them home happy

Labour's conference has just wrapped up with the traditional singing of the party anthem the Red Flag. Thankfully copies of the words were on hand to avoid embarrassment for those cabinet ministers not confident enough to do it by heart.
Earlier this morning - after Ruth Kelly bade her conference farewell, amid intrigue over how news broke in the early hours that she was leaving the cabinet - we saw two of the cabinet heavyweights from Yorkshire taking centre stage.
Health Secretary and Hull MP Alan Johnson and Gordon Brown's ally Schools Secretary and Normanton MP Ed Balls often have their names thrown into the ring when talk centres on future Labour leaders, and today's performances offered a glimpse into their contrasting leadership styles.
Mr Johnson, a favourite with many of the grassroots, earned a warm reception for his speech, delivered standing at the podium.
Mr Balls, meanwhile, decided to test his memory. He's the first minister I've seen at this conference deliver the speech without either a paper copy or autocue in front of them.
Almost Cameron-esque, some might say, although aides are quick to point out he has done similar performances at teaching conferences in the past. And he had spent half of his speech laying into the Tories in a plea for party unity.
Notably, at 20 minutes long, Mr Balls' speech was more than double the length of other cabinet colleagues who have been allowed less than ten minutes. The other point of note was that Mr Balls also received a lengthy ovation - he still may not be every delegate's cup of tea but his Tory-bashing message seemed to go down pretty well.

Just when you thought things were getting better...

How quickly the political sands shift.
Twelve hours ago we were reflecting on a decent day for Gordon, producing a speech which has generally gone down pretty well.
It may not yet rescue him from the mire, but it should buy him a little more time.
But now instead of talking about that, the story has turned into one of Government unrest again after news of Ruth Kelly's resignation leaked out overnight.
On breakfast television this morning, the Prime Minister said it's so she can spend more time with her family. She had decided to step down back in May but was just waiting until the next reshuffle, he said.
Few will believe that. The PM did his best to awkwardly smile his way out of it, but it wasn't very convincing, not least because the Transport Secretary was widely known to be unimpressed with the Brown-led administration.
After cuddly-feely Gordon on stage yesterday, I suspect the teacups may have been flying again last night.
And first up on the conference agenda this morning? Ruth Kelly. How interesting!

The big moment

While there's a big public show of unity here in Manchester, the subject on everyone's mind is still Gordon Brown's future.
Would-be challenger David Miliband's speech yesterday hasn't had a great reception, but his subsequent comments to aides that he "couldn't have gone any further" for fear of a "Heseltine moment" suggest his eyes are firmly on the top prize.
Outside the conference hall, the Foreign Secretary has been busy on the fringe meeting circuit as well. One insider has just told me his protection officers are absolutely exhausted because they're running around so much and are regularly in action until 2am.
But today it's all eyes on the PM. Expect a fairly good speech which will go down well in the hall but not satisfy all the critics. His announcement of a £300million scheme to give all families access to the internet has brought a mixture of rolling eyes and expletives from a couple of MPs I've spoken to who believe the Government needs to offer something to help families pay the bills.
There won't be much moaning in public about the PM from the party faithful tonight, but in private it may be another thing altogether.

Feeling sore

Labour victories have been few and far between of late, so one win today will have been particularly sweet.
Unfortunately, it came at the expense of us Lobby hacks as Labour won the traditional start-of-conference football match 5-2 at Manchester United's academy ground, The Cliff.
Schools Secretary Ed Balls knocked in a couple as did fellow cabinet minister Andy Burnham, with transport minister Jim Fitzpatrick getting the final goal.
Last year the lobby had won 3-1 so I guess this was their revenge, although there's a few journalists keeping a pretty low profile at the moment, not keen to have the result rubbed in.
Still, when the opposition includes an ex-England skipper - "Captain Marvel" Bryan Robson - and a few former Man U youth team players, they did have a bit of an advantage.
For the record, Yorkshire MP Balls has clearly been watching too much of his favourite team, Norwich City, as he missed a sitter late on which would have notched up a hat trick.
At least I've got a week to recover before we take on the Tories in Birmingham. Last year it was 8-0 to the lobby, so I'm hoping it's not their turn for revenge as well this year.

One down, two to go

Job done. Nick Clegg has got through his first Liberal Democrat conference with only one of his MPs getting involved in a tussle and one blunder on the pensions front.
Apart from that, he must be pretty pleased at the way it's gone.
Of course, in truth the world's attention has been elsewhere what with the banking chaos and Labour bloodbath, but the Lib Dems have emerged from this week having endorsed Clegg's repositioning of the party and are apparently a pretty united bunch.
And for Clegg himself, the speech seemed to go down pretty well. A three-minute standing ovation isn't bad going, and most delegates seemed fairly content.
But now the conference circus moves on, and goodness knows what to expect in Manchester as Labour take centre stage.
Gordon Brown must be dreading it.
The press pack, on the other hand, cannot wait.

Unlucky for some

For some, 13 is the unlucky number but as far as Nick Clegg's concerned it seems to be 30.
First it was his GQ interview where he was left confessing to having slept with no more than 30 women.
And now he's red-faced again after being pressed by one television interviewer about the current level of the state pension.
His answer: About 30 quid.
Oooops. Sorry Nick, try three times that much.
Cue an outpouring of scorn from politicians and pensioners, magnified by the fact he's spent the entire conference - and the past few months - telling us how the Lib Dems feel people's pain and are the champions of the low paid.
The curse of 30 strikes Clegg down again.

Look into my eyes

The Liberal Democrats are throwing the kitchen sink at three Labour seats in Yorkshire, targeting Hull North, Sheffield Central and Bradford East.
They are among 50 Labour constituencies which Nick Clegg has identified for the party to focus their efforts on as he sets out on a mission to double the number of Lib Dem MPs by the election after next.
Unsurprisingly, there's plenty of confidence here in Bournemouth about their chances, which would see the party's Yorkshire representation in parliament double.
And in the Bradford seat they may have a secret weapon as they try to oust veteran Labour MP Terry Rooney - candidate Dave Ward is trained in hypnotherapy.
What's more, he claims to be able to make you do things even without sending you into a trance in the first place.
So if the doorbell rings and there's a man with a yellow badge at the door, my money's on you voting Lib Dem.

Conference season always throws up some strange sights, so perhaps I shouldn't have been surprised.
But it still prompts a bit of a double-take when you see Lembit Opik passing the hotel window on a Segway scooter as you're eating your breakfast.
Welcome to Bournemouth and LibDem world!
To the disappointment of the Lembit fan club, however, they haven't been hearing much from the ex-Cheeky Girl admirer - a sore throat has been preventing him from speaking.
Some might say it's a relief.

Jonathan Reed: State of the Parties

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